Sunday, 29 May 2011

I don't having a lot of 'friends' on Facebook. In the days of Friendster, sure, but now, I actually want to add people who I actually interact with.

Just as I'm typing this out, I'm considering going on another un-friend spree (there have been several) and deleting people I don't know or don't interact with. The thing is, while going through my list of 'friends', it has occurred to me that I have so many different relationships with people that it is hard to say who to delete who not to.


Take for example people from high school. There are friends who I'm very close to and interact with a lot, then there are friends whom I treasure yet do not interact with that much, there are people who I still consider friends, and then there are the acquaintances and (presumably) juniors from the prefectorial board. I did consider deleting the last one, but then it dawned on me that I wouldn't want a senior I've added to delete me, either.

So after that I realised that there really needs to be a clear line as to who I delete and who I don't, so for now I'm keeping it as it is until I've figured it out. As you probably know, it's a fine line that's not easily identifiable.

Facebook is definitely one of the ways in which I've noticed a change in myself; I've become much less active on it, preferring to keep some things private, and also because I like to think that I have a fulfilling life offline. I also don't see the need of wishing everyone 'happy birthday' unless I'm very close with them; nor do I see the need to ask people how they're doing because most of the time I don't really care if they're fine or not.

Photo from Easter trip. That's how strong the wind was (I never let my hair go messy outdoors)

Seems very cold-hearted, I know, but I do find it all very superficial. Did you know that if we count all our friends in real life, it only amounts to about 150 at the most? I really don't even see why we would want to add someone as a friend on Facebook even if you've spoken to the person once; it doesn't mean that you'll be striking up a friendship soon.

Heck, I've even met people who've added me (and I thought they did so because they knew me, coz I know them) but later found out that they don't remember me (and I have a good memory, I know who I add and who adds me).

I currently have 400 friends on Facebook. But the ones that I honestly interact with are very few. Less than 100 I would say. Perhaps even less than 50. I know one thing's for sure, though- when I do have an inkling of what determines who I keep as friends on Facebook I will begin deleting friends. It doesn't mean that I don't care about the relationship, it's just that I don't see a relationship to begin with that counts as friendship. Maybe someone would like to create a social network for acquaintances?

What about you? What do you think are criteria for friending people on Facebook?

There's an interesting article, 'The Art of the Unfriend' that's pretty interesting that talks about unfriending people on Facebook. Have a read, let me know what you think!
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7 comments

  1. Tempus says:

    Haha I did unfriend fellas around when I felt like it too! As for the juniors, screw them I probably never ever talked to them before, just hi-bye.

    The birthday thing, ditto. I'd rather calling them up or throwing them a party. Fb wishes, so shallow

  2. Jerrenn says:

    Glad to know someone thinks the same way I do!

  3. EL says:

    I've been deleting people on Facebook since at least a year ago too!

    The first time I did it, I only deleted the ones I didn't know who they are. As in, if I know the connection and why the person has added me (I know who adds me and who I add too!), I didn't unfriend them.

    Then I was thinking why would I want to keep them if I don't interact with them. Till now I'm still thinking, so I haven't done anything yet.

    About the juniors thing, I hadn't deleted anyone who has added me previously, but I realised I've been rejecting the requests received lately. But then again, do you accept seniors who add you when you're rejecting the juniors?

    JEEEE! I've had too much to write! So I decided to leave out what I've written below, and make it an entry on my blog. aha, maybe another topic we're blogging on (after how long?).

    Shall blog on it later then! :)

  4. Jerrenn says:

    Hahah! So many criteria to consider!

    Right now, I accept from both seniors and juniors. But I am considering deleting some juniors (but not the seniors, hence the dilemma).

    Will be waiting to see what you write about!

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