Sunday, 21 June 2009

I always frustrate myself when I stand at crossroads.

Decision making was never one of my fine points, and it probably won't be for a very long time. I had always found it hard to decide on something, no matter what it is. As long as a decision from me is required, most of the time I would struggle to choose.

Perhaps it's because I always act on my whims. When I feel the urge to do something I would go ahead and do it. When the time comes for me to decide to continue down that road or to pick my new whim, I would not be able to choose.

But a decision needs to be made. What do I do then? I do not weigh all pros and cons, but rather just a few. When the cons of one side is heavily pulling it down then I immediately choose the other.

And after sometime, I find myself doubting whether I made the right decision. Perhaps I should've stuck to the first one. After all I did not consider some of the bad sides of my current choice.

Then the whole process begins once again.

The worst things I've decided on are courses. I would see a course, be interested in it and sign up. Then as I become less interested I would dread going.

Initially I thought that perhaps I had outgrown this, that perhaps now I can consider carefully before making a choice and live with whatever decisions I make. Perhaps I didn't choose based on what I'm currently into. Sadly, that's not the case.

For the past few months I had been contemplating the many decisions I've made this year. Now I am beginning to look back and think that perhaps I should've chosen the other. Some, after some further thinking, I thought that I did make the right decision after all.

Yet for some choices I've made, I'm doubting myself. Did I do the right thing? Will I regret making that decision?
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