Sunday, 16 November 2008

It never occured to me what a pessimist I am until now.

When it comes to subjects like Chemistry, Biology, Physics and Add Maths I become like a beggar standing next to an emperor. I immediately feel vulnerable and, I have to admit it, stupid.

Almost everybody tell me that I'm smart, and that I'll be just fine.

BUT, I just can't seem to tell myself that.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a few of my friends and I so happened to mention that I'm really nervous about the Science subjects we're about to be taking in SPM. I also mentioned that I don't feel I can do well.

And despite their assurances, which came in really, really comforting words, I still couldn't tell myself that I'll be fine.

But what's most surprising for me was that I still can sound like an optimist!

When someone's down I would have no problem being an optimist. Yet should I face a similar problem I would feel the same way, even if I reassure myself with the exact words.

Okay. I know I'm rambling. There's 2 more weeks of SPM to go, and once again I'm at crossroads.

The end of SPM marks freedom. At the same time, it could be the starting of friends drifting apart.

Guess I'll just have to hope for the best, if I can.
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