Friday, 27 June 2008
Something So Deep Words Can't Describe It

Just yesterday, we form five prefects announced the list of our successors.

And with that, we're 90% retired. Come next Tuesday, we'll be fully retired prefects.

I have no idea where the word retire came into existence in the board, but that's generally the term used for form 5 prefects after the installation, where we're relieved of prefectorial duties.

However, in the past 2 days, so much has happened. And we realized that we treasure each other so much. And I was so touched by these people that I want to dedicate this to all of them. Yes, they wouldn't be reading this, but I just feel justified to do so.

I started out as a prefect in Form One. Then I was a clueless young kid. I didn't know much. Soon, thanks to the terrifying Form Five seniors who screamed at us every now and then, we were a good bunch, always disciplined. Then it was Form Two. I was elected as the Treasurer of the afternoon board.

Without realizing it much, I entered Form Three. The seniors weren't as harsh at first. Then when our duty started to slack, one day they just blew their top, and after that we had always been doing a good job.

Then Form Four came. It was the time. Time to get that coveted post in the board. The interviews were mind racking, and the suspense real tense. I had wanted a post then. I wished for it more than anything else. More than getting good grades.

And I was thrilled to my bone about it. Because I had got what I want. I was Treasurer, for the second time. I know of only one other prefect who has done it. And I was also one of the few male Treasurers.

And now, I'm leaving it.

The past two days have been really tough on us, but I treasure it a lot. We've been the closest to each other, and it made us all realize how important we are to each other. It made me realize just how much I treasure our friendship.

Throughout these five years, I've learned, I've gained, and I've lost. Some skills I don't even know I've picked up, until I'm told about it. Some lessons in life I've learned about in the past year. I've went through things I had not imagined I would go through. And I went through it all with these wonderful bunch of people, whom I'll never forget.

The times when we were sitting in the Prefects' Room, thinking of a solution to a problem, debating, laughing. Those times were truly the best time I had in my life. I really felt I belonged, and this is the first time I felt this way to a group of friends. Our friendship crossed boundaries, brought us through obstacle after obstacle.

On the day we announced the new board, I asked you guys whether you guys wanted a post now if you were given the chance to go back to Form Four. All of you said no.

My answer? Yes, if I could go through it all with you guys again.

Jiawei, the resilient head prefect who made us all laugh, and cry. You are the best head prefect I've worked under.

Stephanie, the thinker and rationale of the group, the deputy head prefect. Without you, we won't reach decisions as fast.

Iman, the exuberant deputy head prefect. I enjoyed being in your cheerful company.

Yuetyin, the funny and witty secretary. Your laughter will be imprinted in my memory. And the kindness you have for everyone is something I admire a lot.

Izwan, the assistant secretary. I think I was greatly influenced by your lame-ness. You're a great friend, and I shall remember the good times we've had.

Yongbin, the big guy. I can confide some problems with you, and being with you these five years have been wonderful.

Yixian, the friend with the unpredictable moods. Still, you kept my secrets, and I kept yours. You're highly reliable and a great person to be with, and I am glad that we got to become friends.

Keanweng, the funny guy. What would meetings be without your evil witch / hyena laughter? Your cheerfulness made us all happy when we were down, and thanks for being there for me.

A senior said from our last speeches, she could tell that all of us matured a lot. I don't know whether or not I matured, but I do know that I've learned so much in the last one year. These things can never be replaced. I myself was told that I've changed a lot this year, by few people.

I'm truly glad that I got to meet you guys. We've laughed together, sat solemnly in silence, shed tears together. To me, it was all worth everything. Nothing could ever replace the wonderful, bittersweet times I've had with you guys, especially in the last year.

And to tell you the truth, words cannot describe how much you people mean to me. You're the ones I'd miss after school.

I had looked forward to seeing you guys every day. I looked forward to cracking jokes, being lame. I looked forward to being in you guys' company.

What is school life without you guys?

After our retirement, I really hope that we'll still stay as close, and not friends who just say 'hi' and 'bye'. From the bottom of my heart, I hope that it doesn't happen. I hope that we can still stay as the friends we are today.

Together, as one, we went through thick and thin, through problems within and from outside. Tears were shed, and we were always there for each other. We've truly become a family. And I've no regrets about anything.

You guys have made me who I am today. I would not be the rather lame, love to argue Jerrenn you know. Throughout these years we moulded each other, and it's worth it!

So guys, thanks for the bittersweet memories you've given me for the past five years. I shall remember them for as long as I can. Thanks for everything you've taught me, everything you've shared with me, everything I've experienced. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Although there's still so many things I want to jot down, I just can't, but we're the best board ever! If only we could stay together longer. But as all good things must come to an end, I shall have to learn to accept it, but it's not going to be any easier, for you guys mean so much to me, so much that even as I'm typing this, tears are forming in my eyes. So much that I wish we needn't leave each other. So much that I simply can't find the words to describe it. But it's something so deep within me, something that traverses more than just normal friendship, something that's etched inside of me.

So, here's a toast to us.

To all the unforgettable memories.

To all we've went through together.

To everything.



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Wednesday, 25 June 2008
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It's amazing how much Malaysians love formal occasions.

In state assemblys, you have the formal attire which all members are required to wear.

In school, we have formal assemblys and informal ones.

All these formalities can be killing.

Why bother having a difference between a formal and informal event? The only difference is probably the agenda and attire!

Lately I've been going through a slight situation I don't really want to open it to the whole world. But it has something to do with school. Yes, I've been having slight problems. I get the feeling that something in school is actually dictatorship, wearing the mask of democracy. I get the feeling that my opinion is being asked just so it qualifies as a united decision. I know that no matter how I objected to anything, the final result will not change. I was asked whether I had any objections, as a formality. Had I objected, which I was terrible tempted to since I did not like what I saw, I'm sure that nothing would have changed.

A few others share the same sentiment as me. Isn't it just wonderful that we, high school students, are being exposed to this excellent display of politics?

Yes, I have to admit, I'm selfish. I love it when I'm gaining, and hate it when I'm losing. But now I'm losing, and in a rather bad mood, so

DON'T YOU JUST HATE FORMALITIES?
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Sunday, 22 June 2008
Finally, Malacca and Terengganu

Okay, I'm sorry for taking so long, but here's my 2 trips. I'll start with Malacca.

This is the villa we fifth formers stayed in:



At night, after having dinner, we reached back at about 11pm, and started having fun. We ended up sleeping at like 3am. I'm the one in white.


A day after my return I headed to Kuala Terengganu.
Yeap, the 'bride' and the 'groom'.


The most artistic wedding pictures I've ever seen!

The wedding day!

This is something I've never encountered before. Apparently the car has to drive pass the ribbon, and give the 2 boys holding it red packets each before being allowed passage through. A toll gate, perhaps?

Later in the afternoon I went to the beach. Here I took a few pics.






Before the wedding dinner. I decided to take a few pics, for fun, seen here posing like a model, maybe?

With my 4 young cousins and aunt. I seem to be the only one smiling.


Later in the night, with 2 of my cousins.

The day I left for home.




It was a fun week, full of adventures! I'm looking forward for the next trip!
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Friday, 13 June 2008
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A few weeks back a friend of mine had posted a counter to count down the days left till SPM.

I had wanted to follow suit, but stopped myself.

True, the counter could constantly remind me of the urgency to study. But I thought of it another way.

I thought of it as the time left with friends.

Why? Simple.

This is really, truly my last year in high school. And I've had such good times in the last four and a half years I would never dream of leaving my high school friends. This last year was exceptionally fun. Those memories are truly worth cherishing for a long, long time.

And that is why I do not want to leave school just yet.

It is rather ironic, actually. Few years back I couldn't wait to leave high school.

And now, this feeling is rather new. When I was 12 and waiting to be 'elevated' to secondary school, I had wanted to leave my primary school. Somehow I just did not really connect there, with the place and the people. Of course, there were good people and good times, but when I reached secondary school I had already forgotten that I'd left primary school.

But this is so much different. For once, I want to stay longer in school. I want to spend more time with my friends. I don't mind staying a year more, actually, if I can be with my friends.

Some might argue that we still can meet up even though we've graduated. I agree to some point. But those meetings will not be frequent, as we all will go separate ways after SPM. Some of my friends are interested in medicine. Others want to pursue law. Some wants to do engineering.

And in college we're bound to be busy, so how, how, can we find the time to meet up?

I treasure all the friendships that I've forged in these few years greatly. I only hope that they treasure it as much too, and would still find time to meet up. But I'm prepared to face the worst, when it seems high school friends are forgotten. But I really pray that it doesn't happen. Truly, I do.

SPM lasts till December, so I would say that we would be together till then. And that's why I did not want to put the counter.

It would remind me how many days I have left with my friends, my high school mates. And I do not want to be reminded about that.

I want to be able to spend these last few months happily together, and think nothing about separating.
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Sunday, 8 June 2008
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I had just returned from Terengganu an hour ago.

On Tuesday, I went to Malacca and returned on Wednesday.

Malacca was a school trip. I had fun there, joking with friends and entertaining ourselves till the wee hours of the morning. I even bought a few souvenirs.

Then I had one day of rest, before heading to Terengganu for an uncle's wedding. It was a nice trip, seeing as the last time I went there, I was only about 5 years old!

The weddding was okay, the place was nice. But I can't find words for the journey.

Something went wrong with dad's car and we had to stop many times because the car could stop by itself anytime. Somehow, we managed to reach home, and let me tell you, it's not as easy as it sounds!

But I'll upload the pictures soon. Right now I'm relishing being back home, using my computer, watching the TV, and finishing some homework which I have to finish by tomorrow.

Till next time, then!
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Friday, 6 June 2008
A Different Person

Now, everyone seems to be talking about the hike in the price of petrol.

I'd just post about something related to it.

Driving.

Today I went for the theory exam. I went with a friend, and met up with another two. Two of them had went in, took the test, and came out again, passing with flying colours.

I was getting nervous. I had barely studied, and for the past few days I was in Malacca, so I couldn't study. I only managed to cram some into my head the night before and when I waited for my name to be called.

The third friend went in. After minutes, which had seemed like hours, my name was finally called and I entered the room, taking slow, nervous steps as I entered and began the test.

As I was answering the questions I got more and more worried. There were many questions which I don't know the answer to, and I was only allowed 8 mistakes. I tried my best, and finished it in 17 minutes. The next instruction was to proceed to the counter to print my results.

I was stunned for the briefest of moments. For less than a second I thought that we wouldn't know our results until we reached the counter. But I saw the word keputusan below that statement. I wasted no time. I clicked on it with trembling fingers.

The result? 3 mistakes. THREE! I was really, really elated. I quickly got up, and nearly tripped myself as I left the room. I opened the door and came out. It was those doors that has the mechanism to close by itself, so I made no effort to stop it. It closed with a loud bang.

My three friends, all of whom had passed and were waiting for me, said 'whoa!' when they say that I was the one who closed the door that loudly. I shrugged at them, then proceeded to the counter. This time I took confident, purposeful strides. My results were printed, and I was glad to know that it was finally over.

It's amazing how much difference in body language a person shows.

And that is how I know what mood friends are in most of the time.

When he is angry he takes loud and fast steps, and more often than not his face would be neutral, the look of anger is slight but still noticeable. He wouldn't talk much. Sometimes others doesn't notice this change but I do.





When he is happy he would smile a lot, and would always tell you what made his day.

Similarly, I can normally tell when one of my friends are in a bad mood, or emo-ing in our language. I have no idea how I do it, but I have a slight suspicion that it's due to body language and facial expressions. I like it that I can 'sense' their emotions.

What I don't like is that I don't know what to say when they're in a bad mood, or are having a bad day.

Once when a friend broke down in tears I just sat quietly, not knowing what to do or say, whilst the others were saying all the right things, and doing everything right as well. Before I realised I could tell my friends' emotions, I had prided myself in being able to comfort my friends when they're down, so it really punctured a hole in my self esteem. But I have mended that hole since. Now, I just enjoy my last year in high school, all the while hoping that it'll last longer.

I'll be heading to Terengganu tomorrow, and would only be back on Sunday, so I guess I won't be updating this blog soon.
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Sunday, 1 June 2008
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This particular video caught my attention.

In it, the younger brother is always bullied by his older brother. But, on the day he got fired, his ever-annoying sibling came through, asking him whether he's all right. His brother gave the reason for caring for him as 'because I'm your older brother'.

I find that advertisement very meaningful. Siblings should always look out for each other.

It is just the same with me. I have an older sister. And although we do get into fights and quarrels when we were young kids, as we grew older we learnt to appreciate each other, and to help each other. We find that it is when we are separated that we truly feel the need for the other's company.

Of course, dear sista, if you're reading this, let me remind you that I do not appreciate the tantrums you used to throw! And since I'm a teen now, it is thou who will have to put up with my rather unpredictable behaviour when you return. I can be so moody that I would just keep quiet and not answer anything you tell me, and I can be so cheerful and talkative that you'd wish that I'm moody instead.

Siblings. That's just how life is.

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