Watch It!

I think one of the biggest reasons why people enjoy travelling is a break from the usual- they want to go to a place where everything is unusual, where they could embarrass themselves without thinking too much about it, and to see a different way of life.

Travel, for me, has been quite a new experience. I never really saw the value of travel much until not too long ago. For me (when I was young), travelling meant no school, no homework, potential new toys and seeing new things. But in recent years, this has changed- there is something about travelling that endears to me a lot, and it is one of my goals in life to be able to travel.

At Yu Garden

So imagine my excitement (okay, I wasn't jumping around, but I was definitely feeling a little excited) when I embarked on my first solo travelling journey to Shanghai. Granted, I did have to work as well, with no pay, but, when you think about it, travelling is about spending money, investing in gaining new experiences.

And I was looking forward to it. As I walked out of the plane, my excitement was building. How will the next 6 weeks be? What will I see? What will I do? Will I survive being here not comfortable in speaking Mandarin? How cold will it be? Will I see snow? As I was considering all of this while walking on the bridge from the plane to the terminal, a man walking beside me turned to his left (I was on his right), made a noise I know too well, and... spat. Right in the airport, indoors. It's a good thing the side of the bridge wasn't carpeted, so at least it can be cleaned (I hope it's cleaned).

It's a good thing he didn't see my stare. I was a little shell-shocked. I knew that spitting was normal, but I had no idea just how normal it was. For someone who, just a week ago was living in Australia, it was absolutely disgusting. It's a good thing I was alone, or I would've said 'eeeewwww' at the top of my lungs to whoever it is I went there with.

That got me prepared for what was coming- 6 weeks of walking amongst spitters, who gave no regard to where they spat. It also got me prepared for some of the culture shock that I experienced throughout my time there.

But it amazed me that the man spat indoors. That was something very new to me. I couldn't believe my eyes at first. Was this city (that admittedly I didn't read up much about), one of the most modern cities in the world, the largest city globally with 23 million people (that's even bigger than the whole of Australia put together), with rapid economic and social development, still stuck in the mentality that is shared by many other places around China?

 Model of the city of Shanghai- yes, it's THAT huge

The short answer, is yes. While I didn't bother watching my steps to prevent myself from stepping on spit (which I'm sure I did- how can you avoid not stepping on them), I was very careful in making my presence known so that I wouldn't be spat on. This includes walking further away (to get into their line of vision) to making my footsteps louder.

That was just an example of the cultural differences that exist between Malaysia and China. Yes, yes, I know that a lot of Malaysians spit, too, but bear in mind that most Malaysians (read: MOST Malaysians) have the decency to spit into drains, and we do not have 23 million people in ONE city. That's just overcrowded.

I was quite surprised by the differences in culture. I had always been under the perception that the Chinese in Malaysia have many similarities to their Mainland Chinese counterparts (politics at play?), but I was not aware of how different we were. Spitting everywhere was just one of those little things that makes a difference.

Back to the spitting. I think if you look carefully enough at the pavements, you can definitely see the traces of spit. But of course, I wasn't about to ridicule myself by doing that; I acknowledged that this is the environment that I have to live by, and I had to get on with accepting that people in Shanghai spat. A lot.

There was once, a random passerby walking behind me had spat, and I almost gave him the Devil's stare, and fought the temptation to swear at him while saying something along the lines of 'watch it, you're way too close to me to be spitting'. What made me hold back? The notion that I didn't know how to express this in Mandarin (with the emotions as well), and also because... as if I would be able to do anything about it. For all I know, he might just yell rudely at me and call his gang members to beat me up.

Then there are times when I would see a woman spitting, and (yes this is stereotyping) would think in my head- 'how unladylike!' But again, it's one of those things that both genders do. In Malaysia I think it's much harder to find a female spitting, but it's commonplace in Shanghai, apparently.

 East Nanjing Road (oddly enough many streets in Shanghai are named after places in China)

Coming home to Malaysia after that, I felt a lot cleaner. I didn't see anyone spitting, and most importantly, I came back a little prouder that even though Malaysia does not have the economic growth that China can boast about, at least we don't go around spitting on the roads (you just got bored of the word 'spitting', didn't you). That, and other things that I experienced (which I may or may not write about in the future), made me feel proud to be a Malaysian.

We may still have dirty alleyways and stinky drains where mice and cockroaches wander, but hey, we're not a country of spitters. That, somehow, feels a lot more reassuring. At least it's not the humans making the city dirty.

P.S: Don't know how this turned out to be a post about being proud of my nationality, but as they say, you gotta do what feels right, right?

Settling In

I've been in Melbourne for a little over a week now, and I must say, life has gotten hectic rather quickly.

Not that I didn't expect it coming, I knew that I would have only a few days to get settled down before I begin an internship with a PR company this past Monday. So yes, I've completed the first week of my internship here, and it's been very exciting so far.

I'm slowly getting more complicated tasks, and it's such a shame that this internship is only for 20 working days, because I would actually love to intern there for a longer time. But I'll take what I can get.

So true! Till this day I do not understand Physics.

But settling down has been tougher than I thought. Remember, 2 years ago, when I had first moved out to live independently, and I had complained of an ant problem in my apartment? Well, in my current house, there was an ant problem too. Or more like an infestation. It got so bad, that we had to call in the exterminators. I'm only blogging now because the 'all-clear' has been given.

Okay, okay, I'm exaggerating. It's not just because of the ants that I'm not blogging. I've also been kept busy with getting all my stuff sorted out. For the first time, my room's not a mess, I finally have my bedside table, the weekend is coming up (which means I don't have work!) and I've already laid out my to-do list (which is incessantly long), so I have decided to take some time out to blog.


But unfortunately, I still have quite a few things to catch up on, so this entry will end here.

When The Power Went Out...

Last night was a very interesting night- there was a power outage, and my home was left without electricity.

Things were normal before that, we had just finished our dinner, and I was reading a book while waiting for the rest of my family to come out so we can continue watching the movie that we had paused so we could eat dinner.

Then, out of the blue, everything went off- the lights, the TV, the fan. I was thrown into sudden darkness. Not completely dark because it never is completely dark in Subang, and also because not all houses were affected.

Further investigation revealed that only six houses on our road were affected. SIX! Out of probably 15 to 20 houses. And ours were one of the unfortunate ones. I was crushed- there were so many things I was planning to do that required electricity- copying DVDs into my laptop (need to transfer to the desktop first), reading news (need the Internet), finishing the movie (need the TV).

So out came the candles and torchlights, and we prepared for the darkness. I was then reminded of similar power outages of when I was younger. Back then, we didn't have much to do, so power outages would be a great time to walk around the neighbourhood, or just to play simple games at home.

Which was what I did yesterday. I reacquainted myself with a few card games (all very fun), and also played the five stones game. I would assume that if there were kids around, it would be a challenge to see who has better skills, but in yesterday's case, where I played against Mum, it became a test of who was rustier, which at times produced some rather amusing moments. It was actually a very fun time, as without electricity the activities available to me became limited, and so I did not have to feel like I'm missing out on something or am wasting my time.

And that got me thinking of how life was like in the past when my forefathers lived with minimal or no electricity. I can imagine why kids would play games with each other using anything they can find outdoors, and how the adults would sit around and chit chat, or to walk around the neighbourhood, or to mingle with the neighbours (which we didn't do last night). Not to mention, turning into bed early, which I couldn't do last night as it was swelteringly hot. I probably only fell asleep once the electricity came back on, which took about five hours.

I couldn't blame anyone of course, not even the electricians, because it was raining at that time, and they were putting their lives at risk by coming out to see what's wrong anyway. In the end, though, I was extremely grateful that they got it all sorted out and I could finally get some sleep.

But back to before the problem was fixed.  I even managed to finish reading a book that I was rereading at the time (thanks to a very handy reading light). And listen to Mozart (good thing my laptop was charged). I also confessed to my family about how when I was in primary school I would LOVE power outages because that would mean I did not have to do my homework, and I can play, and if it lasted until I went to bed, teachers cannot blame me for it the next day. Of course this only happened about once or twice.

I wasn't too happy about not being able to do more with my time, as it was my penultimate night till I leave for Melbourne again, so I was hoping to get more done, which in the end got pushed to today.


Last night also reminded me of something I read about sometime ago (probably a year ago) about solar flares that could potentially cripple electricity supply and all our communications services. For one thing, I wouldn't know what I would do the spend the time if such an event occurred- probably sleeping a lot.

Tomorrow, I shall be flying back to Melbourne to begin my final year as an undergraduate. Hopefully I will enjoy it as much as college seniors do in the movies!

The Freezer

When I was younger, my family used the term 'the freezer' a lot with me.

What does it refer to? It is, simply, a term used to mock the way I would be ready to dump a toy into the abyss whenever a newer toy came along. And it's not just toys, this tendency (and sarcasm) would extend to gadgets, books, clothes, anything!

I guess in a way, it's an accurate representation of how I am- I am a person who gets bored easily, who's fickle-minded, who wouldn't hesitate to push something into the sidelines in favour of something newer and better.

I totally do that! (sometimes)

It's not really something that I've grown out of, even now (although the toy part doesn't apply anymore).

Now I'm not sure about how many people are like that as well, but I for one have never been able to sustain an interest in anything for long, except for a few things (like writing and reading). With computer games I don't even bother trying now because I know I'll get bored soon enough, but when it comes to my career, and what I want to do with my life, things get more complicated.

While I'm currently in a communications degree program, I sometimes do wonder if I'll actually continue to work in the industry after I graduate. And if not, what would I do. Sometimes it does feel as if I'm one of those people in the movies, the one who jumps from one thing to another, never following through, the quitters, the failures.

 The Bund in Shanghai (keep in mind that it was freezing cold, about 5 degrees, when I took this)

Other times it feels like I'm just a person who likes many different things and move on really quickly, which is also a good thing as I get to immerse myself in many different aspects of life.

But most of the time, I'm fickle minded; I don't know what I want. Looking back at my childhood, you can definitely tell just how quickly I jump from one fad to another- I've had lessons in piano (at Yamaha AND with 2 different tutors), guitar, swimming, tennis, badminton, wushu, Japanese, and probably a few others that I can't think of right now. And of all those, the ones whose skill I actually still have, is probably just swimming and badminton.

I just watched this Ryan Reynolds movie, called The Change-Up (trailer here if you've not seen it). It's about two guys (one successful, one not so successful) who switches bodies. Clichéd, but there were some rather interesting lessons in there- about how we envy other people's lives too much without appreciating what a good life we ourselves have; about how success is not just defined by your achievements at work but also at home, and about how childhood friends can still be close in adulthood even though they grow into completely different people.

But like I said earlier, there are some things that I've always been passionate about (even though it fluctuates a lot), like writing. Recently I had a sudden inspiration for a story, and have been rather excited about it, which is something I've not felt for a long time since I've only written research essays in the past few years (ugh!). As you know, it's not something I will ever tell my friends and family about, nor will I show anyone I know this story. But I do have high hopes for it!

Let's just hope it doesn't go into the freezer first, shall we?

Aftermath

Upon my return from Shanghai, I've actually spent a lot of time catching up on sleep and other things that I've missed when I was there, like international news sites (not that they don't work, they just load uber slowly in China).

This Chinese New Year, was then spent either sleeping, or feasting on food. Other times was spent watching old episodes of my favourite TV shows (thanks, FBI) or reading magazines.

 So as you can see, I've been living a very luxurious life. Add me stuffing as much food as I can to take on the freezing cold weather in Shanghai, and suddenly it makes sense when I'm told that I've gained weight (a quick check on the weighing scale confirms this). Now while any other time I would be overjoyed by this news, now it seems I'm not so thrilled because:

1) I would rather the weight be seen on somewhere other than my face (which apparently is rounder now), like my arms, torso or legs.

2) It's a sign that my metabolism (could be) slowing, which means: I'm getting older

3) I hate getting old

But enough about saddening tales of growing old.

This Chinese New Year was a slightly different one from normal. Because. I. DROVE! Not all the way back to my parents' hometowns, but I did drive half of the time, and while I was there I drove quite a bit too. What I take from it: Rural places with two lanes, two-directions roads aren't that easy to navigate. I prefer wide three lanes one direction places. How intimidating it must have been for new drivers.

It's also the first time where I advocated coming home early. Normally, I enjoy staying at my mum's hometown for a longer time, because there would be books to read (as I only had about 15 minutes to pack I neglected the remember to bring books this time, a first for me!), food to eat (surprisingly, so many restaurants in Kedah / Penang were closed!), and extended family members to talk to (who had to work this time). So there really wasn't much to do, other than reading magazines as slow as possible, spending as much time as I can on 9gag, sleeping for as long as I can that wouldn't interrupt my night time sleep, AND sleeping as early as possible.


Now, I am back home, watching Astro, surfing the Net, and watching DVDs! Much better than slacking at home (okay I know there's not much of a difference between the two), which is why I'll end this entry here.

Bidding 2011 Farewell

Okay, while it may be a little late for a post looking back on 2011, I assure you I wrote this on New Year's Eve! Except that I didn't have access to Blogger in Shanghai.

So here goes:

2011 has been a really good year. But then again, any other year would be a good year when compared to 2010. I think when compared to last year, I learned less about myself, but more about other different things. I stretched my limits in different areas, so in that sense, I did learn a lot about myself too. The difference, of course, is that I had a lot more fun. 

Huge Apple store in Shanghai

I’ve always maintained that good company is all that matters. You can be in the most desolate and depressing location on Earth, but still have a good time if you’re with people you enjoy being with. I think that’s what happened this year in Melbourne- I had more people around me whom I was comfortable with, compared with the opposite the previous year. So yes, while Melbourne itself is definitely more to my liking than Adelaide, the people I met made the big difference. I’ve no doubt that I wouldn’t have had such a good time had I not been with these people.

And there were several highlights of the year that I think I should mention here.

   The home

I’m the type of person who needs to return to a nice and comfortable home, where I can rest, relax, and recharge. And this year, I definitely had that. Lived with a friend instead of an unknown, which is always great, and suddenly living independently had become a lot more fun.

 The room in 2011

2    The work

Uni this year had kinda taken a back seat since I found other activities to keep myself occupied with. But to my surprise, that did not mean a big drop in my academic performance; I still performed well, which is a really satisfying feeling when you think about it (which I somehow don’t since results ain’t everything). Instead, I found a student organisation in which to develop myself in (which I don’t think I’ve mentioned in here before, so here goes).

      The life abroad

After being in Shanghai, I definitely see now that life in Melbourne, and Australia in general, suits me a lot- I don’t go too well with a very fact-paced life, and I don’t go well with a very slow-paced one either. And I definitely identify with the Australian culture more than the Chinese one, even though the latter is where my own culture originally came from (or maybe it’s because I’m a traitor to my own people, depending on how you see it, but I’ve to say I do not think the Chinese are my ‘people'.

Being in China has made me appreciate Australia and Malaysia a lot more. But since this is about my life abroad, I’ll just talk about Australia. I enjoy the Western lifestyle. I enjoy the culture, to a certain degree, although I do know that I will never be a fully integrated into it.

4    The travel

 This year has been great for me in terms of travel. I started the year by going for a Easter holiday which I thoroughly enjoyed, being able to see the different sides of Australia, and I loved the natural part of it.

Then, I also managed to see a little of the Great Ocean Road, which is everything I thought it would be. I’m definitely looking forward to visiting it again, hopefully in autumn or spring next time, when it’s not too cold or hot, and I can sit in an open-top car and enjoy the wind blowing and the sunshine.

I’ve also been to several other locations outside of urban Melbourne, which was just fantastic.

And the last trip of the year for me- Shanghai! While I was kept busy with work during the weekdays, I did thoroughly enjoy the days when I could go out exploring- I felt like a tourist, and it felt like I was already travelling on my own on my round-the-world trip that I’ve always dreamt of.

 Freezing in a Buddhist temple in Shanghai

Thoughts on 2012

I’ve rather mixed feelings about 2012, mainly because I’ll be stepping into unfamiliar territory once again, and also because many things are quite uncertain at this point. I don’t know if my job search in Australia will turn out to be successful, I don’t know if I want to continue with studying, and most of all, I don’t know what the future holds.

And perhaps it also has something to do with me graduating. I dread becoming an adult. I dread having to grow up and make my own decisions, even though it can be fun at times.

If I had to make an aspiration or resolution for 2012, it would be that I would continue with my self-development. I’ve been through some pretty quick growth, and I’m hoping that it will continue in the direction I want.

But above all, I hope that 2012 will be a fun year. I’m hoping that I will be able to keep the relationships I have now. I’m hoping that my friends and family will be in good health. And of course, I hope that I will have lots of good memories to cherish in the future.

So there you go. My thoughts on 2011. Have a great new year, and all the best for 2012!

 

It's Here

Tomorrow, I will be heading on a highly exciting trip- I'll be interning at a company in Shanghai!

I'm honestly excited about this trip. While it is something useful that I can put in my resume, part of the reason is of course to get a taste of what travelling alone is like- I think it would be so much fun! I definitely would enjoy myself, even though I've not exactly listed down the places I would want to visit yet- but I suppose that can wait.

So what are my concerns? Language, and weather. Language because my Chinese proficiency isn't where it could've been (and the previous post just made more sense now, didn't it?), and also my worry that it will be too cold for me to handle.

But on the other hand, I get to travel a huge, huge city, and live there for a whole 6 weeks. SIX weeks! That's a really long time, considering how I would not have access to Facebook or Twitter, and, maybe even Blogger, so this could very well be my last post till I return, after the New Year. But fear not, I will be recording my thoughts in some way, and will share them when I can. Of course, that may only happen when I return.

In the meantime, this week I've had a simply wonderful time catching up with friends and spending time with family. I've been keeping myself so busy that I am normally out early in the morning and would still be out at night. I don't think I've actually had so many social functions to attend in Melbourne, which is amazing, I really miss this lifestyle! 

I suppose in that sense, it is also great to take a breather from Melbourne. Now don't get me wrong, I do enjoy Melbourne, but sometimes it feels like I'm living two completely different lives- my life in Melbourne and my life back home. The two never coexist, and they never intersect. I always live in either one of the two, and my personality and lifestyle changes accordingly.

But I'm a person who enjoys doing different things. I don't like monotony (though sometimes I like sticking to a routine); I get tired of the same thing very quickly, which is why until today there's only been one video game that has sustained my attention for long.

So this is why I do feel great to be away from Melbourne- it's a refreshing change in my environment and social circles. I need time away from all that, to charge my batteries. It's kinda like how even workaholics need to take a vacation sometime to just regain their focus after breaking their routine.

And so that's why I have not updated this blog- I simply kept myself so busy, enjoying being out, and enjoying being indoors (hey, I haven't watched Astro in ages!) and just enjoy myself watching CNN, Nat Geo, History, E!, and all the other programs that I've missed watching while I'm gone. It's funny how I'm now fine with living in two different places, when once I could never imagine how a person could commute between two different cities for work or some other reason.

But that's all behind me now. I really need to start packing, after all it's a six-week stint! Hopefully I'll get to update soon!

Ethnicity and Nationality

Through my time here in Australia, as well as when thinking about embarking on my very own solo adventure soon, I am reminded about an issue that is sometimes controversial- ethnicity.

 Me, somewhere in Sarawak in 2009

Here's what Niki Cheong wrote in his blog:

EVER since my first visit as a 16-year-old teenager, London has remained at the top of my list of favourite cities I’ve visited (Kuala Lumpur, being home, is of course excluded from the list).

By most significantly, I like London for the fact that I speak a common language as everyone else. Living in such a transient city as this also means that the people who come through here come from various cultures but speak English as a unifying language.

Language is a big factor for me because I feel uncomfortable when I can’t read signs or approach people without sounding silly. I grew up feeling out of place even in a city as Singapore because the locals would come up to me speaking in Mandarin. When I explain – or at least attempt to – that I am unable to communicate in that language, it is usually followed with awkward silence, probing questions or worse, accusations of how I have forgotten my roots.

This has never happened to me in London. In fact, instead of judging me or awkwardly changing the subject, my five classmates from China find this to be fascinating. Looking at me, I am obviously ethnically Chinese. Yet I have so little in common with them – I don’t identify with much of their culture, I don’t speak the same language and I have no connection to the “motherland”.

Motherland to me is Malaysia and being an eighth generation Malaysian, I define myself (if the need arises) by my nationality as opposed to my ethnicity. Recently, during a Facebook conversation with one of my former students in KL, I was asked if I felt ashamed that I couldn’t speak Chinese. I was not offended by the question, but I found it hard to understand why anyone would suggest that in the first place. 

That got me thinking about my own language proficiency, specifically my Chinese language proficiency, and the Chinese culture. While I did go to a Chinese primary school, I never completely identified with most of my classmates who were brought up very traditionally, as in they were the very stereotypical Chinese kids who barely spoke English, were good at Maths, wrote their religion as Buddhism when it's Taoism, read Chinese novels and comics, and watch Cantonese dramas.

While I could talk to them about certain Canto dramas that I watched as well, most of my entertainment came from Hollywood.

I was comfortable speaking in English, and if I dare say so myself, I was the juggernaut when it came to English- in the competitive world of Chinese schools and young kids, I was considered a favourite to ace the English exams- every single time. In fact, it was Chinese that I struggled with.

Now, fast forward to 8 years since I've left my Chinese primary school, I barely have anything in common with my former peers. I speak English with my friends, and I speak Chinese as little as possible (in Melbourne that's close to none).


What Niki wrote about how some people accused him of forgetting his roots sounded interesting to me, as it's something that I realised while being here.

Why is it that we are considered to have forgotten our roots because we do not speak a language our ethnic group speaks? I find it really frustrating at times when I read about politics back home and there is this constant talk about the different races- why the Malays will not vote for a certain party, who will Chinese vote for, why the Indian voters voted against the government the last time.

I enjoy how in countries like Australia, the people come from many different ethnic backgrounds but yet consider themselves Australian- they speak the same language, and is entrenched in the same culture. It's just that some kids with immigrant parents would be familiar with one or two other different cultures. I sometimes think wouldn't it be so much easier if we all just started calling ourselves Malaysians and not talk about our ethnicity?

There would be no need for different political parties catered to different ethnic groups. There would be no need for different types of mediums of instruction in schools. We would all just simply be Malaysians.

I myself feel no shame at being not proficient in Chinese. Sure, it's a hindrance sometimes, but I know that I would much rather be a 'banana'- yellow on the outside, white inside. It's just makes me a more interesting person to meet.

In a few days, I will be heading off to China, where I will have to rely on my basic Chinese oratory skills to survive. The fact that I can barely speak Chinese only makes it a much more interesting experience. Think about it- would you remember a story about a friend who got lost in a place where nobody spoke a language they know and they had to search high and low for an interpreter or to use sign language, or a story about a friend who had no troubles whatsoever because they could speak the local language?



I think that ethnicity is not everything- after all, we're all supposedly descended from Africans. Sometimes, we let it get to our head that a person from a certain ethnic group must act in a certain way. hopefully, that'll change soon.

Summer

So I guess I can say now that the summer holiday's finally here. Today I will be moving my things out of my apartment, leaving only those that I will either throw away or bring home, which isn't a lot. Already my room looks empty and messy, with things everywhere.

In a few days, I will be leaving Melbourne to go back home. Around this time last year, I was doing the same thing- packing up to leave for home, though last time I was in a very different state of mind.

I definitely enjoy Melbourne more. Everything about Melbourne seems more to my liking than Adelaide- the people, the lifestyle, the culture, the infrastructure (oh yes, even if I don't go in skyscrapers seeing them is good enough).

I'll save those reflection-styled entries for the end of the year, since that's what I normally do (but if you don't see them, fret not, for I'll be in a place where Blogger might be blocked!), but just comparing my two years, living in two different cities, I can see how far I've come, and how much more I enjoyed myself this year.

In case you're wondering, I will actually be heading to China for 6 weeks, so it is another winter season for me. I do wish that I would be able to enjoy summer more, but the fact is that I have to sacrifice certain preferences to do what I want.

Melbourne's weather is quickly becoming what I like- sunny and warm. I believe I do not need to tell you how much I hate cold weather and winter, so being in China during its winter season will definitely be an interesting experience, one that I'm very thankful for. But more on that later.


I've received my uni results, and it was pretty much the same as last year, still pretty good, but when you factor in all my other commitments this semester, I'd say they were excellent. Not that I was really hoping for anything, I think with everything I've been doing, I didn't have such a big focus on uni, but rather wanted to have a more well-rounded experience here, and so I stopped directing my attention solely on getting that HD. So long as it gives me the window to pursue an honours degree (I've not made up my mind on that yet, hence I want to keep my options open), I'm happy.

Anyway, now it's time to get back to the packing. Adios!

Why I Admire Writers

I'm ashamed to admit that even though I have been on holidays I have not gotten around to writing any of the things that I had wanted to write. They're rather intriguing stories, too, would've been nice to see them being put down in proper form rather than just scribbles. But discipline has always been my biggest enemy when it comes to writing.

So perhaps I cannot accurately myself a writer, because I do not write as diligently like some authors out there. They sit down, and write every day. But then again, these are well-known authors who were fortunate enough to be able to make a living by writing. Writing to me will probably always be a part-time (if you can even it that) thing.

I like reading about writers. I find them very interesting. But I would never accept any writing tips, because from what I read, every famous writer has a different set of routine and preferences- some like to write in public places, some do it in the comforts of their home, some like writing as they go along, with just a main idea in mind, some like having every single detail planned out before writing anything. They all have their own way of doing things, and that's the approach I've taken as well- I do what I think suits me. Speaking in the context of the given examples, I'm a write-at-home person, and like having the entire plot committed to a piece of paper somewhere before I start writing anything.

I remember once, when I wrote a fan fiction of a movie, I had written down the entire plot, but of course, lost discipline halfway through. I think it was about two years later that I resumed the story, and it was really great that I still had the plot with me.

Recently, I have been reading some books by Kelley Armstrong- she writes fantasy novels, and what I really like about her series is that the novels can be read in any order, and you won't feel like you're missing out on anything if you skip any of them. I've read some of the later books first before going backwards, and still there were only minor stuff that I already knew. Most, remained unknown to me. Which is really cool, I hope to be able to write like that someday.

Perhaps one day I will find myself in an exotic island with nothing to do but write. Perhaps then I'll produce some actual writing and (I really wish this would happen) get published.

Or maybe I will stumble on a treasure chest (or maybe win a reality show) and use that money to travel and write about it (and get published, of course).

Or, better yet, maybe I will find the discipline that I have with showering at least once a day, with waking up at 730 so that I can go about my morning to prepare for a 930 class (though obviously that's stopped now), with planning my day as detailed as I can... and I will somehow produce lots and lots of stories! (Though it doesn't mean that I'll show you any of them)

Unwritten

Here are a few trailers I amassed in the last few weeks. They're rather interesting movies, I assure you.









In the past week, I've visited this far out place in Victoria (about 5 hours by train then another 15 minutes by bus), where I did nothing but relax and watch movies. It's a nice place, small town by the lake, reminds me of the setting of many movies and TV shows (somehow, small towns have this appeal for keeping secrets, which is perhaps what most movies and TV shows are about).


The trip actually made me a little nostalgic, as it reminded me a lot about the friends back home. But perhaps in a complete about-turn, the nostalgia was more of a fond memory rather than a bittersweet one, as in the past I thought about these things with a tinge of sadness that I've had to leave those people behind. But now, while I miss their companionship, it appears that I have started seeing me being here very differently.

I wonder why- either I've grown up enough emotionally that I can feel more detached from things I hold dear, or I've just discovered my hidden psychopathy.

Which Way?

I'm in a dilemma.

I've been blogging for a while now, and I've seen my writing style change and improve throughout the years. It's been a very sweet journey, but as I've mentioned, I have a decision to make.

I do remember when I first decided to start this blog- I had started reading some books written by local authors on the idiosyncrasies and quirks that exists in our country, and I had thought that I have quite a few opinions of my own, so that was my original reason for opening a blog- that I had a lot of things to talk about.

But it's not easy to keep it up for such a long time, and so somewhere down the line I had begun to make it more of a journal as well. Then I slowly added more things, like trailers and reviews. 

Then there's the audience. I do recall at a certain point in time when I did have a more diverse readership made of people other than my friends and family, but now, all I entertain are the very few friends who still blog.

And of course, there's the change in myself that's been happening over the years- my attitude towards this blog and what I want to write about.

And therein lies my dilemma- it appears that this blog is at crossroads.

For the past year or so I've tried not to write about my personal life, and that's why in recent times there's not been a lot of updates on what I've been up to lately, and certainly less about the people I interact with in my life.

I've tried to focus on writing about other things, focusing on the issues that are often highlighted in the media and give my own take on it, which is essentially going back to what my original purpose for starting this blog was.

I do not wish to continue writing this as a journal, but on the other hand people who visit this blog read it to know what's going on with my life, so yes, I am in a dilemma, a dilemma of what direction this blog should take in terms of its content.

Fear not, I'll still be updating as usual, so whatever change that happens will happen slowly that you probably wouldn't notice.

What do you think?